I didn’t have the opportunity to post yesterday so it’s pertinent that I post today lol. We’re all human right? I can make some mistakes.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, correct? I bet there were a lot of you who don’t have a significant other and felt lonely, correct? But why? Is it seeing other people happy and in love something you desire? Maybe it’s the appreciation aspect; wanting to feel like you mean the world to someone. I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to be in a relationship to have those things. Yes, including being in love, though people will have different interpretations of that.
I want to let you know that just because you don’t have a significant other, does not mean you have to be sad, frustrated, or envious. Can I share a secret? There are plenty of folks out there who are in relationships but are not happy. May I share one more? You are already enough. You shouldn’t have the heart to feel as though you need one day out of the year to make you feel that way. To be honest, your significant other should be making you feel like that 365 days of the year (if you have one) and if it’s only taking place on that specific day, there’s something wrong.
Many times, we find ourselves wanting to be in a relationship simply because, from the outside looking in, it looks wonderful. However, I honestly feel that you can’t get to that place until you are complete (or at one) with yourself first. What do I mean by that?
God’s purpose for us – in regards to relationships – is to have someone who compliments us; not complete us. Before we can pour love, time, sacrifice, energy, etc. into someone else, those areas inside of us need to be filled first. As my Pastor Michael Steve Brown put it best this past weekend at service, “Love that is based off feeling is fickle; love needs to be filling.” Seeking a relationship with the hopes of someone else filling those voids for us should not be the intent of us searching in the first place. The time spent in your singleness is opportunity for you to truly get to know yourself; what you do/don’t like, setting and achieving goals, traveling, developing stronger bonds with family and friends, growing in God…the list goes on. Do not see it as a period of loneliness because it’s honestly some of the best moments to yourself that you can get.
Now I’m not some love guru, but these are things I’ve been able to determine based off of my past relationships, seeing some of my friends in their relationships, and attending seminars or workshops. Personally, I know I’m single because I know God is working on me so that I am whole and ready (complete) when He sends me my significant other. There will be no question about knowing if me or my spouse are ready to be together because God will have manifested Himself in us. If you find yourself feeling inadequate of being able to be loved by someone else, try taking a look at these items below to help fill yourself up.
- Spend time hanging out with friends. Sounds basic and cliché but it truly works. A GNO (Girl’s Night Out) or MNO (Men’s Night Out) can do the trick.
- Try new things; a coffee shop, crossing off something on your bucket list, road trip, etc.
- Look at some of your goals that you can begin to work on.
- Attend workshops and/or seminars on self-development, leadership, or another area that intrigues you.
- Engage in old hobbies you may have forgotten about.
- Mentor youth. When they ask you questions (because they will have some), you’ll not only be able to give them insight, but really think about some of your actions and decision-making too.
- Treat yoself! Self-explanatory lol! Sometimes we need to spoil ourselves and that’s okay. Just do it in moderation so you don’t go broke!
- More importantly, develop and grow that relationship with God. Someone may think that sounds “churchy,” but I tell ya, when you are allowing the Word to become a part of your life, I PROMISE it will make a difference!
If you have any comments, feel free to share them below! I pray this does something for someone. Also, feel free to share!
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV